The Misadventures of Genesis Rhapsodos
by TornAngelWings
Summary: Rain, Wind, and Snow, what's a bored First Class to do? Torturing Zack sounds interesting. Poor Puppy.
1. Present for the Puppy

It was a bright and sunshine-y day in Midgar. The birds were singing songs of joy and love, and everyone was happy. Then reality grabbed a hold of this story and told the real, not sugar coated, truth.

Midgar was dark and gloomy as usual. It always looked like night-time there. The pollution was extra thick that day. But not only was the pollution a problem, but this never-ending rain that kept coming down by the bucket loads.

Sometimes due to horrid weather conditions, SOLDIERs would be given a few days (depending on the number of days the storm lasted) off because the company ran out of useless errands to send them on.

Today was one of those days. Genesis Rhapsodos sat in his shared first-class apartment, looking out the window, watching the rain bounce off the hideous buildings. To say he was bored would be a dangerous understatement. He had already recited his precious LOVELESS until Sephiroth's ear bled, sparred with Sephiroth and Angeal, tormented the Seconds and Thirds, made a Cadet cry, and blown stuff up at random. Director Lazard had finally had enough of Genesis and had instructed Angeal to keep the fiery poet in the apartment.

"'Geal, I'm bored." First-Class Genesis Rhapsodos declared.

"Good for you." Angeal replied, not looking up from his garden magazine.

"Where's Seph?"

"The computer room. I believe he had some paperwork to do."

"Gah!" Genesis threw his hands in the air dramatically.

When everything seemed so bleak for the bored red leather-clad man, there was a knock on the door. Angeal answered the door to find his student, Zackary Fair standing outside.

"Hey Angeal! Can I come in? I have nothing to do. I already did a simulation, watched the researchers produce new materia, ran through the TURK floor singing songs, flirted with all of the secretaries, and set Hojo's latest experiment on fire! So Lazard sent me to you." The Puppy, as the trio of Firsts referred to him, was in all his shining-energized glory.

Angeal couldn't think of anything for Zack to do besides more training. The stoic man went to ask Sephiroth if he knew of anything the restless Second could do.

When Zack sat down on the red leather couch next to Genesis, the older man almost told him to get lost. But…instead he got up and went to the kitchen.

"Zack…I have a present for you." Genesis said.

Zack should've expected what happened next, after seeing the aftermath of Rhapsodos's earlier escapades. But the poor Puppy didn't until it was too late.

Genesis help up a snicker doodle. One of Angeal's famous snicker doodles, to be exact. Zack's mouth watered. "Do you want this, Fair?"

Before the words even came out of his mouth, Genesis tossed the cookie through the open door leading out of the apartment. Zack's blue eyes widened and he leaped out to catch it.

Good news: He caught it. However, the smirking auburn-haired male shut the door and locked it behind him. "Damn! Genesis!!" Zack yelled, banging on the door with all his might. Genesis chuckled and walked away from the door his copy of LOVELESS opened to Act I.

When Hewley returned from conversing with the General, he noticed immediately that his pupil was gone. Instinctively he turned to his childhood friend, who was looking very smug. "Genesis, did you eat Zack?" he deadpanned.

Genesis full out grinned. "My friend, I merely put the Puppy out."

It goes without saying that Zack was very careful when people offered him "presents" from then on. And he never went to the apartment on rainy days; Genesis was evil when bored!

**Me: Okay, yes, I had one of those random spurts of inspiration. R & R, please. Tell me how I did. Even a "cool" or "sucks" would be nice. Take it away, Cloud!**

**Cloud:….sniffle….TornAngelWings doesn't own the Final Fantasy VII franchise.**

**Me: Aww, poor Chocobo-head, you were the cadet that Genesis made cry.**

**Cloud: (glares) With no thanks to you.**

**Me: Don't worry Cloudy boy, I still lurves you!**

**Cloud: Review please.**


	2. Zanna

It was a perfect day. Everyone was happy, there was world peace, and Hojo died. Well, until reality knocked out the authoress and took control. Then Midgar returned to its dark and gloomy state. It was windy. So windy, in fact, many claimed they felt Midgar moving. Most of the Second and Third class SOLDIERs were on that very topic. Then they realized it was the infamous Genesis Rhapsodos, one again, bored out of his mind.

A potted plant, stolen from Wutai because plants can only grow in the Slum church not anywhere else relatively near to the plant-hating city, suddenly burst into flames. Why? Because Genesis wanted it to, that's why.

Lazard took action immediately (he didn't want a repeat of last time) by having Sephiroth and Angeal keep the red-haired pyro out of trouble. After arguing with a distraught Genesis who claimed he "didn't need babysitters" for an hour, the Director finally threatened him with sending him to a Red Leather meeting. (Don't get me wrong. The fangirls kick butt. I am a fangirl. But…if Genesis suddenly walked into the room I was sitting in…he might not make it out without being glomped and huggled.) Genesis then reluctantly complied, because he wanted to live to see tomorrow.

So the scene before us is Genesis sitting on the couch, LOVELESS open on his lap, reciting the third act as loud as he possibly can, Sephiroth, sitting in the recliner, about ready to murder his friend, Angeal, looking through the messages Zack sent to his PHS. (Lol, I put PMS…then I caught myself.)

Angeal let out a sigh. "Zack wants to get in some extra training…" and he had just sat down too!

Genesis felt some compassion for his old friend, so he volunteered to help Zack instead. Well, no. He volunteered because the most devious plan came to mind. He would teach Zack "First Class Secrets to Success" and it would be hilarious.

When Genesis showed up to the SOLDIER floor to give Zack a training lesson, the Puppy about had a heart attack. "W-what? W-why?" and other questions asking the LOVELESS-addict why he was actually helping.

"Boredom makes us do the strangest things, young Pup," Was all he would comment. And boy, did he mean it.

An hour later, Zack was in a pink dress. With matching Gucci heels. And a pink Prada purse. His hair was also plastered down, his eyes had like eighty layers of eye shadow, his lips had four different flavors and colors of lip-gloss, and he had some of the reddest cheeks in the building. Plus the mascara. That was the finishing touch on Genesis's masterpiece.

"Hey…Gen? Are you sure this will help me be a hero?"

"Yes Puppy. Now be quiet and pose for the camera."

Zack Fair was a hero. He saved everyone from boredom. The building was abuzz with everyone sending the drag-queen Zack, excuse me, **Zanna**, to everyone they knew.

He couldn't walk out in public for weeks.

**Okay, I couldn't resist. I love writing devious!Genesis. He makes me laugh. I'm going to write one more chapter for this, and then it's complete! And there will be a sequel, all about Zack's revenge. Whether he means it or not.**

**R&R! Sephiroth, do the disclaimer, please.**

**Sephiroth: TornAngelWings doesn't own the Final Fantasy franchise. **


	3. On the Upside

**Here's the last chapter of this three-shot. I may or may not have a one-shot sequel where Zack gets his revenge. It's all up to you, my dear readers. Now, no more delays! On with the story! Que Reality taking over!**

Today was dark and gloomy, as Midgar should be, thanks to reality looming over the authoress' shoulder with a pointy stick pointed at her neck.

It was snowing. In Midgar. Hard.

So of course, the SOLDIERs had the day off. Which leads us into the next misadventure.

Genesis Rhapsodos was strolling down the SOLDIER floor corridor. Surprisingly, he wasn't bored. Instead of blowing crap up because he can, he was grinning that devious grin that he had on his face when he dressed Zack "Zanna" Fair as a girl. You should know what comes next.

"'Geal, where is the Puppy?" Genesis asked as innocently as possible.

Angeal wasn't fooled, but he decided it would be better for everyone if Genesis followed through with his plan. _Sorry Zack, you gotta take one for the team… _Angeal thought, answering his friend. "The training room, doing a simulation, I believe."

Genesis waved at Angeal from over his shoulder, and strode on down the hall. He stopped at the door, swiping his ID through the machine. He put on the glasses and confidently walked into the middle of Zack's simulation.

Zack was slashing at a Bahamut simulation. "DIE STUPID BUGGER, DIE!!" Finally it did die. Zack almost jumped out of his skin when he saw the red clad man clapping mockingly in the corner.

"What do you want?" Zack asked, slightly pouting.

"Oh, nothing Puppy. Angeal told me to drop something off at your apartment and you weren't there. I just wanted to tell you it's on top of your kitchen table." Genesis strode out of the room.

Zack stood there for a minute baffled. Genesis….did an errand..? Huh. But then the light blub clicked on. Zack ran down the halls bumping into other SOLDIERs and Cadets as he ran. He didn't even stop to flirt with the exotic-looking secretary. Genesis being his apartment could only mean trouble.

He rummaged through his pocket looking for his keys before pulling the whole ring out of his pants. He jammed it into the lock and practically broke down the door. His mouth hung so far open, he later wondered why it hadn't fallen off in the first place. All of his furniture was on the ceiling in the same position as it was on the floor. Zack ran a hand through his hair and got to work.

-A couple hours later-

Zack let out a sigh and wiped the sweat off his brow. Genesis has strategically hidden gravity materia through-out the apartment and Zack had to find them then catch the falling items. It was tough work! He was happy to see that Genesis had partly told the truth. Sitting on his kitchen table, in a closed container, was Angeal's famous dumbapple pie. Zack eagerly bit into it, ignoring the bitter flavor when it touched his tongue. Soon after it melted into sweetness. All Zack remembered after that was being extremely tired and falling asleep in his bed.

-The next day-

Zack woke up when his alarm clock beeped signaling six o'clock. He got up and took a shower, changed his clothes, and grabbed his sword. He walked out the door with an unopened granola bar in his mouth. "I have a feeling today is going to be great!" he shouted, stepping out into what should have been the corridor. Instead Zack found himself in the middle of a Wutaiian forest. He looked behind him to see a shack with an interior identical to his at the Shinra Building.

"GENESIS!!" Zack screamed ignoring the fact that there was no way the poet could have heard him.

-Midgar-

At exactly Six A.M., Genesis grinned triumphantly to himself. Zack should be awake by now.

**Okay, . gave me this insane idea. Only Genesis would have the connections to make this happen. Poor Zack, stuck in Wutai. **

**Zack: You're a meaner. You allowed HIM to do this!**

**Genesis: I comment you, Miss Authoress.**

**Why thank you, Genesis. Readers, if you want Zack to avenge himself, R & R. I would love it if everyone told me some zany pranks that you have pulled/endured. That would be lovely.**

**Zack: (Pouting) Please Read and Review! You can't see it, but I'm doing the puppy face!**

**Genesis: TornAngelWings does not own the Final Fantasy franchise, or else there would be a movie starring me in the collection.**

**You heard the guys. R&R!! Adieu for now~**


End file.
